30 April 2008

29 April 2008

When the Rain Falls Down, Will You be Around?

I'm supposed to be doing my math homework, and english, and apush, and...physics...but instead I'm back again!! Woo. So yeah, the past few days have brought some interesting weather in my area. Okay, compared to the tornados in Virginia, I guess I really have nothing to complain about. Sorry I lied. I guess what was essentially interesting was not the weather itself that I've experienced over the past couple of days, but rather the way that the weather related to my emotions. This relationship really puzzles me. Well let me just tell you about it first. Saturday was an absolutely beautiful day where I live. It was warm out, and sunny, and happy. But the whole day, I just felt tense. (The same way there is always tension when there is abnormal heat in many literary works). I felt upset, and ticked off. No, I didn't have a completely terrible day; I honestly have no clue as to what my problem was. Then Monday, and Tuesday: RAIN! And I just seem to feel better, and less easily annoyed if you will. I don't know. Maybe it's all just a coincidence, but also, people tell me that they like the rain better because it seems like the world is sympathizing with your problems, instead of making you feel like an outsider because you don't feel as sunny on the inside as blaring sun is on the outside. But maybe it reflects something else about all of us. Maybe we are happier (not in the HAPPY sense...more content, or satisfied with ourselves...think SAT vocab in context?) with ourselves when we are able to express who we really are (aka. rain–"let it all out girl"), than when we have to sit and conform to the thoughts and ideas thrust upon us, and pretend that everything is fine all of the time (aka the perfect sunny day...). After all, flowers need both sunlight and water to grow. Just like we need ideas to jump off of in order to create new ones.

Oh, it's all just a part of Mufasa, and Simba, and Nala, and Scar, and Rafiki, and Timone, and Pumba's circle of life I guess...

Like my orchestra teacher says, "There's always the tension, and then there's always the resolution".

So with that said, Let it rain world, let it rain.


footloose and fancy free.

What is young?
Young is laughter and wonder and smiling through tears.
Young is skinned knees and broken wrists.
Young is climbing trees and dancing in the rain.
Young is the smell of crayons and grass.
Young is baby-soft curls and warm, tight hugs.
Young is bedtime stories, lullabies, a kiss goodnight.
Young is tumbling through wide, open fields.
Ashes to ashes, we all fall down
Young is fragile, yet young is invincible.
Young is being so cool without even trying.
Young is dreaming big, and never letting go.
Young is innocence; young is joy. Young is how we live.
gayatri & hannah

28 April 2008

The Watch Trick.

You know what my sister told me the other day? I don't even remember what we were talking about, but it was something like "The longer you live, the shorter each day seems because you are comparing its length in time to the amount of time you've been alive". Sure, thats probably not exactly worded correctly, and it could have been more concise...but if you think about it, it seems true right? I mean, I know I'm still young, and I still have a lot of life left to live. But the five minutes that I used to have to spend in the corner for Picasso-ing the off white walls in the hallway with those smelly markers that had all the different scents for the different colors (sup run-on?) seems a lot slower than the remainder of the hour long car-ride when my ipod decides to die on me. Its just so weird. And people always say that "time flies when you're having fun!" (just imagine that cheesy adult who gives you a mile-wide grin and two strained thumbs up while you're looking for your Barbie's tiny pink pumps). But this makes me wonder if being occupied isn't the only way that time flies. This whole "theory" makes sense though... right?

I just found it interesting.

Enjoy the Picture.


and it goes like this-

mario testino is probably one of my favorite photographers.
he shaped how i see the world
looking at his work i have come to this conclusion:
every morning i wake up and go to my closet to get dressed
so does kate moss
so does cameron diaz
and so did coco chanel
and so do i.
how curious
that we draw such a distinction from us and them.
where is the line
and why do we draw it?

-ana (your new photographer/writer/blogger)

Христос Воскрес!

in case you didn't know, this weekend was Orthodox Easter.

the reason it doesn't fall on the same day as Catholic Easter is that the Orthodox follow the Julian Calendar whereas Catholics follow the Gregorian Calendar. it's a pretty long holiday and gets really tiring since mass is really long (2h1/2 on average per day (3)) and there are no pews but only a few chairs for the elderly ( not... ).

but what i really wanted to get to in this post was why i love Easter so much. Easter is a pretty big reason to dress up, and since women can't wear pants, it's much more extravagant. i love seeing what old Russian women wear. they either wear the craziest things or dress very elegantly. think of Eliza Doolittle at the horse race vs. Queen Elizabeth II. or just think of different characters in Anna Karenina or the wedding scene in The Deer Hunter.

the lights are turned off, the candles are burning, the choir is chanting solemn hymns, a baby's cry or old women's gossip occasionally break the eerie chants. nothing in this post could possibly come near to how intense and breath-taking the liturgy is.
i don't want to go on too much about it. what i want to add is that before Good Friday, i hadn't been to church in about 3 months. the problem was that i recently stopped believing in God. i felt that if i went to church, i was being hypocritical. i decided to go on Easter, however, i made sure not to go to confession or to communion. i didn't feel so bad that way. i missed going so much, just because it's a part of me that i lost touch with. when i was young i used to go every Sunday with my family and it was amazing. i used to think that the gates to heaven were on the ceiling of the church since it was painted white with angels. however, my church burnt down one winter night. they don't know if it was an accidental fire or not. many of my childhood beliefs also turned to ashes that night. i have a feeling that the Orthodox tradition outside of Russia will fall out in a couple of generations, as there are already signs of it. i'm proof. my Russian is pretty limited, and although i love going to church, i'm not so sure that i'll continue going once i move out of the house.

i feel like society these days is moving so fast that no one is taking the time to appreciate tradition anymore, we're all looking forward without any notion of the past. i'm doing my best to not get too caught up with everyday life (school, friends, hobbies) and take the time to go to church, but i know once my mom is off my back about going, i'll probably stop and find excuses as to why i don't go anymore.


27 April 2008

so ugly it's cool.

just a thought. there's no ideal cool now-a-days. no perfect picture or ideal form. everything is everything. a mix-match of the past 50 years or the weirdest things you can think of. when one thinks of cool anything can come to mind. throw it on or cut it up, it's cool.

we've gone over the edge where nothing is cool. for that exact reason there are so many options. since nothing is cool, everything is. there's a freedom that has come over our generation. we're no longer confined to stick to the trends of now. i use to feel confused with the mish-mash of generations present today but it has hit me that we've become complete. clothing no longer is a shallow form of riches or rags, since everything is cool everyone now has the option of wearing whatever they like. clothing now can finally reflect personality instead of being the shallow snob which everyone hates but simultaneously loves at the same time. the middle-school conformity has passed on, finally.



miserable romantic

i am miserable. there are no words to describe the way im feeling. i cant eat. i cant sleep. i cant cry. even though i want to.

i felt great last night. i was dressed up just like a flapper. with my red fringed dress, red lipstick, and black cateyes. i was on my way to a banquet for choir. it was amazing. friends, a nice hotel, a nice meal. i even got an award for most unique personality. haha. things were perfect. well not completely, but it was nice.

we all headed out to the dancefloor, not the best playlist of music. but it wouldnt matter if i complained or not. i tried to get the dj to play justice, and the pipettes. no such luck. haha but it was fun. all these people wanted to dance with me. alot said i danced better than the black girls there. haha things were great.

then, bohemian rhapsody came on. goodness it was hilarious. until some idiot jumped and stepped right on the instep of my foot. it was terrible. today it is swollen and in an ace bandage, probably no school tomorrow.

then things got worse. me and my friend were texting. coincidentally i have a crush on her. i wanted to tell her, and i did tell her. but now i feel that its going to be awkward around us. hmm. i cried. she said she thought it was cute. she actually thought it was cool. and she was proud of me for telling her. aww how sweet.

which led me to this morning, listening to beirut on repeat. ive listened to every song at least 4 times. im just tearing up. i drew the picture to the above right (click to make it larger) in about 20 minutes. it felt good to draw. i havent drawn like that in a while. i guess i needed inspiration. so inspite of my girlcrush, i dedicate this picture to her. and every beirut song in existance.

влюбленность и везение, teddy

26 April 2008


Pictures from Boston!



25 April 2008

a different kind of fun

now see here, these shorts have traveled everywhere. now if only they could end up here. i just might need the help of my secret lover.

really, ive fallen in love with tacky style. grandma florals, acid wash. ripped jeans. high waists. its really attractive to me.

now still i wont stray away from my balkan/eastern european style. ive been growing up with the polish and slovak culture ever since i was a little girl. my grandpa spoke polish around the house, we always ate polish foods, my grandpa even dressed me up as a babushka when i was about 5. if only i lived over there, to get a taste of my family. its part of my heart that ill never lose.

влюбленность и везение, teddy

24 April 2008


"I don't wear jeans and a tee shirt because it would be like yielding to American [cultural] imperialism."

so true. i'm not against jeans in any way. i just don't like pants in general. they're confining. in spandex and dresses i can move about and do the splits (almost). without pants i feel a lot free-er.

i wish everyone would jump around
... and take off those pants.


23 April 2008

disco infusion, i've become a gypsy.

the 80's are finally lost to me. but surprisingly there hasn't been the dramatic switch to boho. with sequins, colours and loose clothes, i've become a gypsy. when moving, the sequins glitter like a disco ball and reflect against the sun, lockets swing, and skirts flow. there is a relaxation, a tierdness, that has come with the heat. soothing music from marie-antoinette and pink cupcakes with tea. a mixture of caravan circus troop and victorian class.

cherry cola on my sofa, i think i'll go to bed.


22 April 2008

long time gone

So last night before bed, I was leafing through my tattered copy of Little Women when I noticed something that got me thinking. Clothing and appearances, in general, are an important part of the novel and the author writes pages describing things like dresses and accessories. What I found so interesting was how much more attention the characters paid to details such as the fabric and cut of a dress than people nowadays do. Back in the day being well dressed consisted of having good-quality clothes made of luxurious material and cut in flattering shapes. People paid attention to details and craftsmanship, whereas now most of us pay more attention to the label sewn onto the clothes. We spend our money on poorly made, ill-fitting clothes because they happen to be the brand of the moment.

Most likely, the reason that this great difference exists is that our clothes now come ready-made. All we have to do is buy them, contrasting the 1800s, when one had to buy material and make clothing oneself. They truly put a bit of themselves into every article of clothing they made.

I wonder what would happen if everyone bought a sewing machine and, once again, began to create their own clothes; sewing, decorating, and accessorizing, pouring a little something of ourselves into every outfit we wear?

just a thought.

the newbies


i love EVERYTHING about marc jacobs lines.you can either love or hate them.
that may sound cliche,but it's true. its not just the clothes,even though they're AWESOME,but all of the below:
-juergen teller's point n shoot photographs.
-the fact that all the ads are funny or weird.
-the people in the ads.i used to dislike victoria beckham,but now she seems alright.and well,MIA.

I just bought the PROTECT THE SKIN YOU'RE IN tee and its great!

have fun.
(they almost forced me to post,thats why its not THAT awesome)
marc by marc jacobs

^i love MIA omg.
marc by marc jacobs
i think thats funny

marc by marc jacobs
that ones weird alright.

Marc Jacobs
thats funny and weird at the same time. (thats posh in there hahah)


21 April 2008

The Choice is Yours.

You know what, I have to say that I am overall pretty proud of my pictures. I mean, they may not be perfect, but each of them is a glimpse into a tiny moment of my life that I was able to capture.
I wish I could just take pictures forever. Take pictures and get a paycheck every week and live in a nice little apartment, and have tea and scones with jelly all the time, and have some nice little clothes, and a nice little dog, and look at my nice little pictures displayed all over the walls everyday. But then again, I'm working so hard right now because I am on the road to a music school, maybe not the best, but I am trying.

And then, there's a little part of me that would love to be a journalist. Or, sometimes I would like to see myself in front of a camera talking in an unatural voice about the day's events, politics, world news...more politics.

Yeah, I can just see it now.

Wait, I don't even know what I'm seeing. What my dream is.

That's because I have so many.

And I'm still young, so I can still dream, but the clock is ticking, and I need to choose.

But which one?


charles frederick worth

the founder of haute couture was an english bloke who went to paris at the age of 20 with 117 francs and without knowing any french. i find it kind of funny how people can be so snobby about clothing and high fashion couture when the dude who started it was almost broke. it really has nothing to do with money. just dressing kooky and weird. being kinda different. whatever, none of it really matters.


Baby you can drive my car

yes i'm gonna be a star
(call me a hypocrite)

enjoy the pictures


16 April 2008

tierd and uninspired

i've gone past the point of caring. my style has turned into a kind of laissez-faire mixture of sequins and bright colours all thrown together. maybe it's the looseness of spring or the building stress of the last push through this school year. either way, there's a lack of response from me in general.

as i was looking through my closet early this morning i was wondering... is it even possible anymore to come up with a truely original idea. all the shapes and styles seem to be dug up from past ones. with the layers of red spandex, victorian lockets, and mini dresses it seems like i've become a mixture of every single generation before me. it is sad, but our generation really has nothing to say, nothing to show for what has occured. though we might look at the 80's with a bit of a laughing disgust, at least they had a personality. something original about them that defined their generation. the overall tackiness reflects who they were. today we're nothing but a mixture of old fashion dreams.


Baby got Bach.

I've been meaning to make a post about the Bach Partita no. III in E Major for violin, but I've never been exactly sure what to say. Actually, I'm still not sure what to say. It's hard to convey the brilliance that each movement has. Especially they Prelude. Yeah, its classical music, yeah its not "cool" or whatever but so what. Maybe I'm just a classical music fanatic because that's what I've been playing everyday on my violin since the fourth grade. But if you ask me, classical music is more than just fancy music to play at tea parties or background music for "fancy" situations, classical music is more of a representative of human emotion. That's what I think. A lot of pieces can convey more emotions than any silly pop song can. It's like reading an old book. A "classic" book. If you ask me, I'm not really a fan of today's modern literature as much as I like the older books. Why? Because generally, (from the modern books i've read anyways), it seems as though many modern books are lacking the depth that older books seem to have. Not saying that today's music can't be "deep" but seriously, classical music just has something so special about it. I love it. And you should to. So if you're with me, download Nathan Milstein's Bach Partita in E Major Preludio (The first movement...it might just have an ".I" there), and tell me what you think. Really listen to it.

I bet it's not as boring as you thought it was...

yeah. that's what i thought ;)


13 April 2008

So typical

very "typical Bianca" outfit.
What I wear when I get three hours of sleep and just cant think of anything.
printed tee
colored skinnies
nike high tops.

I like this outfit, and I like that the style of it contrasts my sometimes really girly style. It works...especially after a late night. Ignore my miserable face.

Ah, This will probably be my last post for a while. I am off to Denmark for 10 days on Wednesday. I am AMAZINGLY excited....It's an exchange, my partner stayed here in America last month for 10 days, and now im off to go stay with her. AHHHHH, I can not wait!
Oh, and last night at afterprom, I got henna tattoos one of a skull on my wrist, because I like to pretend I am bad ass, and one of a turtle....because turtles are cooool.


08 April 2008

like dough,dough i like. boys call me when they feel freaky hot

There is not enough i could say about this picture to explain the brilliance of it. The bright colours, the gold chains, the crazy makeup and best of all those glasses. These three people epitomize the idea of taking your own style and running wild with it and never second guessing themselves. I love this.

If you none of you have heard of uffie yet, or have yet to listen to her, i strongly suggest you do. This past weekend i was introduced to her and her music and i'm officially in love. She performs music that is a blend between electro and nu school rap. In some of her songs she performs with an english accent, sure it's a fake accent, but it adds alot to the song. From what i know thus far, she has only released EP's, which i think is pretty cool. So, if anybody has any time or are looking for new music to add to their playlist, check her out.


this feels like another dream

i was watching the secret garden yesterday. i love the whole mysterious feel. victorian dresses and dark hallways. black tights, leather boots, and light lace. it all seems so elegantly twisted.


07 April 2008

simple vs. society

so, after two hours of an incredibly unproductive study hall, i lie here on my bed in a pair of wretched, ripped tights and my father's stained sweatshirt. I look like a hobo on the premises of an prestigiously expensive school, kind of uncanny isn't it.
that's besides the point.
what i really want to know is what is it about simplicity that catches our eye. it always gets us, usually morphing into a god-like inspiration that is unmistakably flawless. when has simplicity ever failed us?

i love you; three simple words.

the black dress; simplistic but beautiful answer to any fashion crisis.

a smile; most beautiful and most facile way to greet anyone, even a stranger.

why do these things seem to catch us every time? what draws us towards their simplicity while we yearn to move forward, advance into a society of more technologically and pathologically complex findings and behaviors? is it their anti-modern composition that makes us feel warm, welcome, and back home at a time that has ceased?
as the fashion industry keeps trying to move forward, drawing hair into elaborate and ornate creations and "high-heels" have lost their heels, i feel as if it's time to take a step back and elapse into the simplistic, joyous ways of life. Jeans and a white tee shirt hasn't been worn with confidence in quite a while around here and it's existence needs to become more prominent. it's the confidence that wears the outfit, it's the face that wears the confidence, and it's the personality that wears it all. why dress your exterior into advanced, complex, busy garments when a personality can create the most beautiful silhouette of all - no matter how simple it is.

beat the sh*t outta something, beat the sh*t outta someone, beat the sh*t outta your brother

a well loved quote of mine from Ryan Jarman.

isnt he a babe?

well i think he most certainly is. mmhmm. damn hot mess.

so i just recently joined the marauders, and hey im teddyanna. yes that is my real name.

me in my legendary glasses

ehh a ticket stub, from when i went to see the cribs. theyre my fave band if you havent noticed.

a random vinyl pocket of mine

my legendary keds. also known as grandma shoes to the kids at my school. known for the racy quote on the side of them saying "we dont need no motherf*ckin scenesters"

the "sheet music" for the the song im learning to play on guitar right now. its martell by the cribs.

hmm. so yeah thats about it. im really too lazy to type anything monumental. hmm. im not all about into fashion. im just into culture and art. i also really want some white fringed cowboy boots. i also really love guys briefs. amazing. i really just throw on a leather jacket and head outside. i have a vegetable garden. and blah thats it.